If Only In Dreams
by Keys2theKingdom
Summary: Helena hadn't yet figured out how to make herself visible to mortals; so she was only allowed to watch as her son grew up before her eyes. Never allowed to speak, never allowed to touch. Except in dreams. And now there's someone she wants to meet. Giripan


If she so wished, Helena could descend from the heavens and walk amongst her once great cities; bare feet padding across time-worn stone but leaving no footprints in the fine dust behind her. Helena had not yet found a way to make herself visible to mortals (Romulus simply _refused_ to tell her how it was done) so she was only allowed to watch as her son grew up and grew old, never allowed to speak, never allowed to touch.

Except in dreams.

It was simple really, all she had to do was sit next to him and think and Helena would slip into the world of her son's dreams. Here she could speak with him, here she could run her delicate fingers through his hair and marvel at how much bigger his hands were than hers; it seemed only yesterday his tiny hand would disappear if she made a fist around it. Helena's son was unaware that the woman who visited him in his dreams was the spirit of his deceased mother; to him it was simply a dream where his mother sat next to him and listened to him tell her about his life. It saddened Helena that the conversations that she held so close to her long still heart were nothing more than a fantasy to her son, but perhaps it was for the best. He should focus on the living, not on the dead.

It was difficult for Helena to enter the dreams of people she had never known or had never known well, but there was someone she would very much like to meet. He had been the subject of almost every conversation between her and her son for well over 100 years now; Helena had seen him a few times when he was visiting, but a conversation with the man who held her son's heart in his hand was worth the strain it would cause her.

Helena watched the small man sleeping, his dog curled up on the edge of the mat he was sleeping on. She smiled warmly at him, recalling the wishful descriptions of this same man from in her dear son's words. Helena sat herself down next to him and closed her eyes. It took much longer than she was used too with her son, but eventually she felt herself slip into the man's subconscious.

When she re-opened her eyes she appeared to still be in the man's house, except it was day now. The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze blowing, clinking the wind chimes on the porch to make soft music. It was also very empty and very, very quiet. Helena recalled her son mentioning that this man enjoyed solitude and silence, which explained the emptiness. Still, she imagined the man must get lonely being here every night with no one around but his dog, whom was curled up on the porch sleeping. Helena stepped up onto the porch, finding whom she was looking for sitting at his table drinking tea. She cleared her throat to get his attention.

The man turned his head to face her, blinking slowly and seeming to process that she was there before bowing his head respectfully and saying "_Watashi ha watashi no ie seishin-sama ni anata wo kangei_." Helena smiled, glad that in his dreams she could understand what he was saying to her.

"What brings you to my home _seishin-sama_?" The man was smart enough to hide surprise, she knew he was probably afraid of angering her. His culture had such horrible stories about what happened when you angered otherworldly visitors.

"My son speaks so fondly of you, I wished to meet the one whom he praises so highly." Helena gathered her skirts and sat in front of him, allowing him to observe her for a moment before continuing. "From what I have seen so far, he has been justified in his words. You are very respectful to someone whom most do not believe exists."

The man bowed his head once more. "Thank you for the praise _seishin-sama_."

Helena placed her hand gently on the side of his face, smiling softly at him. He tensed, not particularly fond of touch she knew, but she could sense day fast approaching and wished to convey her words quickly. "You keep your emotions in because you fear what you may become if you let them run free; this I can understand and this I can respect. When you are ready to let someone else in, my son will still be there and he will still love you with all his heart. Do not feel the need to rush, but do not try to deny what you feel either. When you are ready; he will be too. And the love will be all the more sweet with time."

Helena removed her hand and stood. The man at her feet was staring up at her in surprise, thoughts spinning around in his mind that couldn't, or wouldn't, put words to.

"I-" He began, but Helena cut him off.

"Think on what I have said, because it is true." Helena let herself fall out this stranger's dream, having said all she had wished to say. It was time for her to return to the heavens to watch over her son from afar; and to wait with him for the man before her to release the emotions he held close to himself.

"_Hai seishin-sama._"


End file.
